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|I've been going on EFnet IRC since Spring of 1996. Sometimes I've enjoyed it, other times I've despised it. I've met a lot of people over the years, and many have passed out of my life, as quickly as they've entered it. Others have been constants throughout the years, and I'd like to mention some of those poeple. :)|
forlamp: I met Perry soon after I first came on IRC. In fact, he was the second person I knew, the first having been haze, who I've lost touch with. Perry and I have had many fights since then, and many wonderful times as well. He also knows me very well, sometimes I think he can read my mind. We go through phases of being closer, and phases of drifting apart. Regardless of which, he's special to me. I know he still cares about me, and I hope he knows I still care about him. Perhaps someday I'll finally get to meet him. I hope all is well with him.
Xerion: Chris was someone I grew very close to, when I first met him online. That was back in the Fall of 1996, and throughout the years, we've gone for very long periods of time without talking. In more recent years, we were speaking more frequently. Chris was very special to me. I hope he always knew that. I recently discovered that he passed away, and it breaks my heart. I miss him, and I can't imagine that I never will get to speak to him again. That I'll never have that chance to meet him. Thank you Chris, for everything. I love you and miss you.
d0lz: Timmy! Gosh. Timmy is one of my very best friends, even though he doesn't play the role in my life he once did. I care about him more than he knows, and I missed talking with him for years and years. He was kind of a rock in my life; always there, always dependable, always listening, and always offering me advice. I don't know where I'd be without him. He was always completely selfless, always putting me first, and I was too blind and stupid to even really notice. After many years, we finally started somewhat talking again, and then I was fortunate enough to get to meet him while we were both in Pennsylvania visiting. It was a blast! I love you, Tim. Always and forever. :) I hope we get to hang out again sometime.
poseidon: Mike is the next logical person to talk about. He was another person I grew very close to. He made me smile, made me laugh, made me cry, and made me feel. At a time in my life, where I was very confused, and hurt, he made me feel better. As quickly as he came into my life, he was practically gone, and I was left feeling alone and hurt. I still see him sometimes, and I still talk to him sometimes, but it can be awkward. My memories of the past always make me feel uncomfortable, and sometimes I can't help but wonder if he ever really cared. I think he did, though. And I still care about him, more than I'll probably ever let on.
zig: This is one of the most awesome guys you could ever meet. He's crazy, he's funny, he's sweet as can be, and he's just.. amazing! :) ziggie is like an "IRC father" to me, of sorts, and I know that no matter what, I can always count on him to be there for him. I know he'd help me out in any way he could, if at all possible. He's wonderful, and I love him to death. I really hope to make it out his way sometime because I'd love to meet this person who has kept me smiling and laughing for years. :)
ZED: This entry might shock many people, because I don't think many people realize I even talk to him. It's never been aparent, but I truly enjoy talking to him. I'll never forget my Halloween phone call.. "Trick or treat, bitch!" While this probably does not seem very sweet to most people, you'll just have to trust me, it was classic. He's a great guy, and he makes me laugh a lot, and I'm glad to know him. I will stop one of these times and actually meet you. ;)
Jon2: Gosh, where do I even start!? Jon is amazing. He is one of the most amazing people I've ever met. I think he disguises it from the general population with his sick jokes and strange sense of humor. Jon has also been a 'rock' in my life, always being there for me. He's one of the best friends I've ever had, and I can't imagine what I'd do without him. Somehow though, I believe he'll always be there. Maybe that's selfish of me, for I'm afraid I don't give back to him nearly as much as he gives to me. Whenever I need a friend; he's there. Whenever I need help; he's there. Whenever I'm scared, sad, alone, upset, confused; he's there. He has been completely wonderful, and I love him for all of that and so much more. I hope he knows how much I care, how much I love, and how much I appreciate him every day.
Going through this.. I see what I wrote, and I don't want to change it. But Jon isn't my best friend anymore, and I miss him quite a lot. We still talk every great now and then. He's happily married, and has two adorable children. I'm very glad all has turned out so well in his life. :)
rockstar: Kraig is a hard person for me to explain. I've known him quite awhile, and we decided fairly quickly that we are twins.. (even though we were born in different years, hehe).. and while we haven't always kept in constant contact, we've always been friends. For awhile, we grew closer, and we talked daily. Talking to him was so wonderful for me, because he made me smile, and he made me laugh. I just felt so much better talking to him. Things started to change, and he got into some things, that I didn't necessarily agree with, and I watched him change, right before my eyes. Suddenly Kraig, as I knew him, was gone. We still talked, but I started to avoid conversations because it hurt me so much to talk to him. I didn't even know him anymore. He said some things to me, and to others, that hurt me, and just thinking about him in general hurt me. I don't know why he holds that affect over me, but I do care for him a great deal. Now we're starting to talk again, slowly, and it's still painful for me, even though the circumstances are different. I care about him, but I won't let myself open up to him. Just thinking of it all hurts. I love you Kraigie, even if I don't always show it. I *do* care. And I miss the old days, so much...
ShdwKnght: Jason, blah. I get so much ridicule for continuing this friendship, but I don't think anyone except he or I can understand it. Jason has annoyed me, angered me, upset me, depressed me, hurt me. But he has also made me smile, laugh, etc. He is sort of like an annoying brother. *Grins* But I also have known, without a doubt that he loves me, cares about me, and accepts me for who I am. He is one of the few people I can truly be myself with, that I never worry will judge me, or think less of me. It's been a very rocky friendship, but I hope that as time passes, things will smooth out, and we'll fall into a comfortable, easy-going friendship. I care about him very much, and I hope he gets himself out of trouble, and stays out of trouble. And I hope he knows that I care about him, and love him.. (in that purely platonic friendship/brother way). :)
BladeX: Can I really call Jason a constant? Yeah, I think I can, even if we're constantly changing our friendship. We've been friends, and fought more than anyone I know. Everything's a roller-coaster ride, so to say, and it's never the same from day to day. The only thing that remains is the fact that I care about him more than I'll likely ever understand. I've been angry, I've laughed, I've cried, I've smiled, I've felt, I've hurt. It's a truly amazing experience for me, and hopefully someday we'll figure it all out. I hope he finds what makes him happiest in life, and perhaps, just maybe, we'll find a way to stay friends as well.
Looking at what I wrote previously... At this point, we no longer speak. Everything I wrote I meant 100%, and now I miss him quite a lot. Perhaps though, it is best this way. I can't hurt him anymore if I'm not in his life. I really really hope he's doing okay. I hope that he's happy. I hope that everything is turning out the way he wanted it to. I miss him. A lot.
Jess: Tanesha is interesting. (It's weird for me to call her that, because I always call her Jess!) Anyway we've had a million ups and downs. I really hope at some point we'll reach a level where our friendship will be just that--a friendship. Where everything else doesn't matter quite so much. I think we have issues with our trust or something. And guys seem to be a huge part of our downfalls. Regardless--we're friends still (again!) and I really do care about her a lot. Sometimes she can be one of my best friends, offering a shoulder when I need one, and listening to the insanity of my emotions. I hope to be there for her as well. She's a wonderful person, and I'm glad to have met her, even if it was in such unfortunate circumstances in the beginning.
jedi: What can I say about Kyle? Out of most of the people I've met online, he's the one who most deserves to hate me, and yet he doesn't. He's one of the few people who hasn't made me deal with crap. He's been a true friend to me, regardless of my mistakes. Unfortunately time has widened the gap between us, and he's having a rough time of it right now, at least in my opinion. I'm way worried about him, and I surely hope he finds his way out of the hole he's fallen into. :/
dznutz: I can't imagine why I never had Luis on here. Luis is a complete trip. We had the most amazing time one month in California together a long, long time ago. Regardless of how things worked out (or not), we're still friends, and I'm glad. He's great to talk to, and makes me laugh. I also know I can count on him when I need a friend. Thanks for putting up with all my stupidity over the years, Luis. :) *Hugs*
m1k3: I don't even know where to begin. ;) I met Mike through Shdw. Actually, he lives by Shdw. Anyway, we just had the craziest stuff in common. He lived in Erie, Pennsylvania at one point too, he's a complete Pittsburgh fan, especially the Penguins, which are my favorite. There's really all kinds of crazy stuff. Regardless, we ended up together, and things were awesome. I visited him a few times, and then somehow, I freaked out (I have issues) and ended it. We didn't talk for 4 years, and and then we started talking again for awhile. I visited again, sort of freaked out again. And now we do not talk again. He was easily one of my best friends, and we could easily talk for hours and hours, about anything and everything. He is one of the sweetest guys I've ever known, and I'm super sorry for the pain I've caused him. I don't dare contact him now, because honestly, I think he's better off without me in his life. But I miss him.
Jugernaut: Droo is completely awesome. I don't know how else to explain him. He is another of the sweetest guys I've ever known. And I'm really glad I have gotten to know him. I can always count on him to make me smile, and he always makes me feel good about myself. He's great for a laugh, and he's just a lot of fun. Someday (hopefully soon!) he's going to find someone very special, just like him, to share his life with. I wish him complete happiness, and I hope we always remain friends. You're amazing, Droo. Completely. Much <3! *Hugs* ;)
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