Paige's Poetry [home|friends|carrie|about site]

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tears [3/4/1994]

The rain that is falling, comes from my eyes,
As it covers the world below.
I'm trying to understand why this is,
The path fate chose to go.

I thought that maybe, this just might be,
The love I've been looking for.
I guess I was wrong, how could I have thought,
That someone would consider me more.

I thought someday, that just maybe,
Someone would treat me as such.
But once again, I thought wrong,
How could I have figured as much.

I've given up, this time I learned,
That for me, love just doesn't work.
I guess I'll never find a guy,
Who doesn't act like a fucking jerk.

by Paige Lynn Mandera

death [4/27/1995]

Falling from a perch, high in the sky,
She cried because he said good-bye.
The man she loved with all her heart,
Had caused her world to fall apart.

She was falling quickly, into an endless hole,
Her heart was missing, her misery full.
She still felt the pain, yet empty inside,
He said he loved her, why did he lie?

This man she had trusted for so long,
Had found another, he had done wrong.
She was pained and yet she wanted to get even,
But her heart was too empty to get with other men.

Falling faster yet, she said all her good-bye's,
Told herself she would never hear anymore lies.
Trembling, as she held in her hand a knife,
She said, "I love you forever," as she took her own life.

by Paige Lynn Mandera

true love? [10/24/1995]

I really love you a lot,
but you're confusing me
You say that you love me a lot,
but sometimes it doesn't seem to be.

I don't want me and you to break up,
but what other choice are you giving me?
I don't trust you at all,
'cause your cheating is all I see.

I'm trying to forget, trying to forgive,
but then you tell another lie.
And it hurts me so much,
that I just sit here and cry.

I thought I'd finally found,
someone real to love and hold.
But you're sweet, and then you're an ass,
and it's getting so fucking old.

The idea of breaking up,
is hard to take,
But with the way you are,
What other choice can I make?

by Paige Lynn Mandera

hope [11/4/1995]

This is the most realistic love,
that I have ever had.
If I ever lose you,
I will hurt so bad.

I guess I've always loved you,
but I guess you never knew.
I just hope that you love me,
and that your heart is true.

I know there have been hard times,
and once we almost fell apart.
But, look, we've made it through it,
and you've taken care of my heart.

So I guess we don't know if we'll make it,
but I sure as hell hope we do.
I hope someday we'll be married,
and have kids to love too.

I will always love you,
forever 'till the end.
But no matter what happens,
You will always be my best friend.

by Paige Lynn Mandera

fairy tale[7/18/1996]

The love between a princess and her prince,
is still so very strong.
But a stranger came between them,
and she took him, right or wrong.

I don't know about that story,
that has a happy end.
I'm afraid this one is different,
the beginning and the end.

I'll tell you about this story,
so listen very close.
They thought they'd be together forever,
and they were -- almost.

They'd known each other for years,
but then one day.
They looked at each other through different eyes,
and created a love that would stay.

They spent all their time together,
almost as if they were one.
But as time went on, they grew apart,
and now their relationship is done.

The prince, he looked for something new,
and what could the princess do?
Her heart is totally broken,
and the prince has someone new.

Me - I am that princess,
who no longer has her love.
I gave him all I could,
but obviously I wasn't enough.

by Paige Lynn Mandera

broken [5/28/1998]

I'm falling apart.
Filled with pain.
Pain from the betrayal.
I thought it was real.
So right.
So blind.
Why couldn't I see it?
Deep within my soul.
Fire, burning, hate.
I hate myself.
Such a fool.
Why did I listen?
To every lie?
Did I really believe it?
Or did I want to so much...
That I lied to myself.
So many.
My life is based on a lie.
That's all it ever was.
He told me he loved me.
Is it real?
It wasn't with him.
Could it be with another?
I don't deserve love.
I was so wrong.
I was so stupid.
So blind.
Such a fool.
I feel it deep inside.
It overcomes my life.
I can remember the hate.
It was in his eyes...
When he yelled.
When he told me I was stupid.
He'd be drunk.
Always drunk.
Always mad.
So mad.
Was he mad at me?
He'd scream.
Tell me I was worthless.
I believed it.
I believed him.
Is he right?
Am I worthless?
So sorry..
He'd always be so sorry.
And I'd forgive him.
Such a false feeling of happiness.
Until he'd come home.
The lies. The hate. The pain.
The betrayal. The illusions...
Broken -- my world is broken.

by Paige Lynn Mandera

forever [5/28/1998]

I'm lost in an illusion
full of love and hope
Trying to free myself
discovering lust and betrayal
What's the truth? What's a lie?

Everything's blurry
shapes and colors flying by
Emotions are flowing
feeling so real, so painful
How can I escape this madness?

Lost, confused, I'm losing my mind
I'm running out of time
Everything I believe to hold dear
slips from my grasp
I feel myself falling

It's a big vast darkness
make it stop!
So dizzy, so scared, so alone...
and still falling
Will it ever stop?

I realize there's no bottom
no strength left to fight
My destiny is to live forever
falling forever to my death
Death, a peace that will never reach me

Just make it stop
give me my peace
No energy left...
just weakness and pain

by Paige Lynn Mandera

the final step [6/17/1998]

How do I tell you it's over,
while looking you in the eye?
How do I tell you it's forever,
without feeling I'm dying inside?

Even with the pain that you've caused me,
and the tears that I've cried for you
The pain that I'm feeling is very strong,
at the thought of telling you we're through.

I think back to the moments of happiness,
of laughing and being in your arms
Reminding myself I have to do this,
and can't fall again for your charms.

Trust me hon, this hurts me,
and I know it'll hurt you too
But it's over -- it has been,
I'm no longer in love with you.

by Paige Lynn Mandera

confusion [10/6/1998]

Confusion controls me,
I try to break free.
The answers to questions
are unknown to me.

I try to think clearly
to understand what to do
But I can't seem to learn what's best
for me and for you.

This situation is anything
but ideal, I'm afraid.
And a solution for all of us
is not easily made.

But as the days go by
I know I'll find
That I've known what to do
all along in my mind.

by Paige Lynn Mandera

completion [8/23/2001]

The hours are greater than they've ever been
And the days seem to last for weeks.
I lie here in silence, as the seconds crawl past
The tears stream down my cheeks.

I'm actually happier than I've ever been
Your love touches me in ways I never knew.
Whenever I'm angry, or the slightest bit sad
I can't help but smile at thoughts of you.

But the times we are together fly by too fast
The seperations seem increasingly long.
I want you and need you with me, by my side
Because with you, I know, is where I belong.

You help me back up whenever I fall
You're my rainbow when all seems so gray.
You're my sunshine when everything suddenly grows dark
And when I'm lost, you show me the way.

You've returned the sparkle in my eyes
And the smile to my face.
When I think the tears won't stop falling
You provide laughter in their place.

And the empty place within my heart
You filled with a love so true.
I now know the spot remained there
Awaiting the day that I met you.

by Paige Lynn Mandera

try again? [6/11/2007]

I really love you, hon
please know that it's true.
You say that you're done
and I don't know what to do.

This love you and I share
it's been crazy, intense.
The way we've acted through time
rarely makes sense.

But babe, we've held on
for all of these years
We've fought all these fights
we've cried all these tears.

We've held on so tight
didn't want to let go.
Because our love feels amazing
as you and I both know.

Please don't give up on me
please don't say good-bye.
I love you, I need you
Please hon, one more try?

by Paige Lynn Mandera

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