#twilight_zone quotes

<amm> somebody peed on our router :(

<WH> Dianora: Why is it I get the feeling you like any animal that can kill a man in less than a minute?
<Dianora_> WH, some men deserve it.

* billn fondles b2
<billn> where has your penis been all my life?

<morkeleb> squrl wishes she were whipped
<sQurl> whip me spank me make me listen to countruy

* GoodFella looks at betwen his legs
<GoodFella> i have balls

<butnik> I never knew there was so much hair under a shift key

<SwedeMike> watch out for them sticky bits.
<amm>I spray "pam" on my bits so they dont stick.

<outcaste> Dianora: can you please code a coffee machine into 5.2 pls? :-)
<Dianora> outcaste, espresso or cappucino?
<outcaste> Dianora: cafe latte please :)

<darkson> though I won't of minded a blow job from smurfette.. she's hawt

<jimmie> lemme do persis brb

<Blaxatola> i think i will just go to bed and touch my penis
<Blaxatola> again

<tay> flash is gonna go fuck a dog now

* Phisher throws suessy a boner

<Da5id> there's nothing better than telling someone how to set up dialup networking while sitting at home with underwear on yer head =)

<Melody^^-> God it feels good to get naked.

<ThaDragon> nipple clamps?
<Rodder> jumper cables!

<jimmie> hey gnomy, finger paige

* jimmie beats himself

<jimmie> naw, i'm gonna get phisher drunk and take advantage of him

<digidog> everything I have is too short

<ty-e> Since MB kill Jimmie for weeding , can I kill fjoder for being a horse rapist
<ty-e> wedding

<Jon2> what's wrong kanan? :)
<Jon2> it making you horny to see me getting it on with a teenager? :)

<LarZ> the only thing I learned from anatomy was that boys have penises and girls have vaginas
<LarZ> oh wait.. guessthat was kindergarden cop

* boufa raises an eyebrow
* Riss raises boufas eyebrow and sees her an ear.

<piker> i'd give up IRC for a RealDoll
<piker> actually, i want my realdoll to have internet hookup

< ><digidog> wow, this thing is 8 inches

<jimmie> i was wearing peasiee's underware earlier.. it chafes

<Jon2> wow, i just wanked off furiously.. thought i was gonna make it bleed for a minute there
<Jon2> hmm, i hope all this spooge comes out of the carpet

<Jon2> sometimes my left nut hurts for no apparent reason

<SForce> i love me.
<SForce> and my peepee hurts.. brb - bathroom

<Gersh> I put out
<Gersh> I give good head too

<ModemMix> i would install a spell checker but the disk woldnt fi in mmy ear

* Mike-D gives up and gropes Jontew ;)
* Jon2 gets hard

<Mutt> Poking is great... but when you haven't had Poke in a long time and people are poking all around you, you sorta feel like you need to call your significant other and request a poking.

<jimmie> i have sex with cars

<jimmie> i go home at night and stick large sharp objects up my winky hole
<jimmie> then i dream of jon2 and masturbate

<digidog> nothing worse then expecting to see wimin with sperm on thier face and coming up with morks crotch..

<digidog> ugg.. I cant swallow

<digidog> i need a penis enlarger

<Jon2> normally i dream about jimmie

<Darkshde> mmm....17....forbidden fruit....

<habit> who wants to see my pussy?

* BugLrd & mopping up the jizz caused by my new pII 400 =)

<habit> what do u think of my pussy?

<billn> larz is old enough to bleed

<tober> I <heart> persis.
<morkeleb-> tober you <heart> anything with a hole

<Violator> no one has stuffed 2 D batteries up my butt yet

<habit> been a while since someone fwapped me upside the head with a penis dwight ;D

* andyd wonders how dwight got my penis

<outcaste> <--typing withb 1 hand

<Persence> mork: okay :) You?
<morkeleb> doin' god
<morkeleb> ack
<morkeleb> doing good
* morkeleb gets struck by lightning

<billn> if I make that laughing noise like he does, the roomies will think I just blew a hole in the wall masturbating

<jimmie> this is like the last night i can masturbate and stuff

<billn> got any old ladies you want me to help into traffic?

<brian2> koala bears are pissed off cause outcaste doesn't have enough penis to satisfy them

<Jon2> if everyone MUST know, i gave paige a vibrator for valentines day
<Jon2> and wrote my name on it
<Jon2> sheesh
<Da5id> nothing like a gift that says "I'd do you"

<chriss> dickheads suck
<piker> my dickhead doesnt suck
<piker> it spits though.

<Jon2> you should know, since you've now had virtual sex with me morkeleb :)

* comstud # his meat.

<outcaste> I'm good in bed, I can sleep for 8-10 hours without any problems

<p9w> paige wont sexor me and _I_ get kicked?

* comstud has a small penis.

* mr-wankey drools pre-cum.

* hmz & taking "care" of myself.

<russb-w> im gettin fucked by jimmie more than comstud is

<jimmie> its no fun to sit here and play with myself, while typing on irc and watching tv

<digidog> my gf cut fucking 4 inches off. thats just bad

<russb> if i were paige, id let you fuck me hmz

<bud> i like 9 yr old boiiss

* jimmie strokes his server peenis


<Jon2> i'll be like "can't i just do it with my hand like normal?"

<Jon2> sometimes i like to just sit around and touch my bunghole

<Jon2> of course, a realdoll won't run off and sleep with another guy and break your heart
<Xney3> jon2: but they do tend to deflate

<clavo> help. these jeans are crushing my nutz

<ParaGod> Jon: if you're going to write your name on a vibrator, don't do it on a small cheap one... for god's sake!!

<ethos> my ass hurts :(
<Snooze> not enough lube?
<ethos> i shaved it

<habit> come on lines of the computing age: "wanna check out the open port on my hub?"

<madbomber> jon2 would do a goat if he could catch it in his shitty american car

<Jon2> ooh pubic hairs in my keyboard
<Jon2> i haven't masturbated in front of this computer in months!

<brian2> why is it that women want you to taste yourself after you get off?
<brian2> if i wanted to do that, i'd just aim for my mouth or something

* billn so long, I have to stick it bent double
<billn> so instead of coming, I'm going

* brian2 not john holmes, but not pee wee herman, either

<_cls_> my ex gf cheated on me with a guy who has a 9.5" dick, that bends in the middle :P
<brian2> bends in the middle?
<brian2> what, is it like perforated or something?

* _cls_ sits in b2s lap and plays with himself
<brian2> cls, if you get me pregnant with a god damned half-canadian baby

<digidog-> it was hard tho, cause she wasnt wearing any panties, and her bear was just there

<digidog-> and at this point , i cant get a date with a hole in a tree

<sQurl> man my ass is stillw et

<Jon2> i would do a 14 year old

<mr_bill> amy, would you rather I propose on irc? heh
<TurtleX> bill, if you dare
<TurtleX> i swear to god i will make sure your dick gets so much use that it turns black and falls off.

<sQurl> when do you want to do it craig?
<sQurl> will it fit in mine?

<frashtew> i think vibrating anal beads would rock

<morkeleb-> my penis is h00ge
<morkeleb-> i can't put it away
<Try> mork: unsnap it first
<Try> it comes off the strap on

<Jon2> a cat peed inside my computer

<sedriss> no im just putting a big bow around my crotch and wearing nothing else

<lump> my god, another vp walked in and saw the dog fucking the turtle.

<mr_bill> at 17, I was still wanking over national geographic.

<sedriss> paige would be hot if she didnt have a HUMONGOUS PENIS!

<_cls_> Paige : you know me, im just as bad as you, takes me like an hour to get off :P

<tay> what am I hungry for
<jimmie> i dunno you had my wife yesterday

<jimmie> holy crap did i mess up my thighs

<habit> what are u bidding on?
<jimmie> a giant stuffed penis

<frashly> mbundy:admin another irc server so you can get all the hot netsex pics from wanna be female opers

<sedriss> mbundy: why pay for no penetration.

* mbundy is Mr. 15 Seconds of Glory.

<tober> Mmmmm, masturbating.

<habitnc> what males think of as fun, such as farting, belching, etc, != what grrl's think of as fun b2...you haven't learned that yet?

<sedriss> I wonder if the smell given off my poop is flammable.

* Psybre pictures jimmie running around the house with a pair of boufa's undies on his head and nothing else

<Jon2> what did jimmie do to the roof of my mouth last night?
<Jon2> it hurts

<boufa> jimmie fits in it perfectly and i have plenty of room in the back too

<jimmie> I have a large penis, it is round and robust, i use it to clean my nails


<Calvin-> skatter - if you wake up with a used condom in your ass, I don't wanna know about it

<morkeleb> condom.c - floods a machine with cumpackets

<jimmie> hey, where are my pants

* Pup bent his wookie :(

<Paige> marcus, it wouldn't surprise me if even your hand rejects you :(
<marcus> sometimes it does

<frashtew> Paige: ever since I came out...well..

<redbird> Anyone have winnuke?

<TskChicgo> he's so hung

<tay> mika keeps jumping all over the keyboard, and already pulled the dongle out 3 times

<TskChicgo> paige - i suck everybody :)

<redbird> TSk is cute
* TskChicgo gets hot and bothered and strips on camera for redbird
<TskChicgo> ooooooooooh ooooooooooh oooooooooooooooooh
<TskChicgo> oh yea, oh yea

<Try> I did not have sexual relations with my server!

<sQurl> I'd put out for someone who buys me lots of shit

* outcaste likes to play with it

<rox-> _cls_, But this puss is just tooo sweet taseting

<Jon2> i wonder if you spooge blood if it means you've been wanking too much

<boufa> ( . )( . ) = squrl (.)(.) = boufa
<RoadWORLD> . . me =P

<wild_eep> can i poke you?
<sntacaren> doh it doesn't fit :(

* moogle hopes he can unfuck himself and finish school first.

<ParaGod> I bought my year's supply of comdoms yesterday.
<ParaGod> 4 pack

<ParaGod> Tsk: when you drop your pants and the chick says "Who the hell do you plan on pleasing with that little thing?"Say, "Me, of course!"

<sQurl> heh after that more than just my bra is wet

<tay> hey, that is the size they are
<tay> I need to make them smaller
<boufa> i think he has a big one :>

<tay> mike` is trying to steal my pussy

<Jon2> mmm, cock rings

<apropos> and i said "shdw, special hax0rs ride that lil bus"

*** ShdwKngh- has quit irc (Killed (OperServ` (EFNet forever!)))
*** Paige has quit irc (Killed (OperServ` (EFNet forever!)))

<boii:#twilight_zone> i once "dated" an irish chick
<boii:#twilight_zone> i had to dump her for my pride
<boii:#twilight_zone> the bitch would dirnk me under the table

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last updated: 11/29/99